{"id":2326,"date":"2020-01-14T03:57:46","date_gmt":"2020-01-14T03:57:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scienceofthetime.com\/?p=2326"},"modified":"2020-01-14T03:57:46","modified_gmt":"2020-01-14T03:57:46","slug":"a-mothers-wisdom-5-life-lessons-for-a-new-decade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scienceofthetime.com\/dlc\/2020\/01\/14\/a-mothers-wisdom-5-life-lessons-for-a-new-decade\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother\u2019s\u00a0Wisdom: 5 Life Lessons for a New\u00a0Decade"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n
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A story by Deanna Elstrom<\/a><\/blockquote>\n

Being in your 20s is hard. I feel like no one tells you that. Am I smart? Will I be successful? Am I attractive? Will I be loved? Am I making the \u201cright\u201d choices? In your 20s, everything is up for grabs. It can unmoor even the most confident amongst us.<\/p>\n

Whatever I faced at that age, however, was nothing compared to what today\u2019s young people experience. I entered the workforce and the NYC dating scene in 1990\u200a\u2014\u200awell before the age of the internet, smartphones, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Once I got home at the end of the workday, I could be with myself to reground and refresh, free from comparison with the idealized online selves and aspirational lifestyles of others. If I did not meet my future spouse at work, a party or the gym, that was fate, certainly not the fault of too little time spent scanning profiles online.<\/p>\n

The 2010s brought massive change in the form of technologies, apps and gadgets that have come to dominate our daily lives and social interactions: how we search for jobs, social circles and dates, not to mention how we shop, research and buy. The first iPhone came out in 2007, but it was during the early 2010s that smartphones became ubiquitous, along with YouTube, online streaming, podcasts and apps. We expanded our vocabulary to include words like \u201cselfie stick\u201d, \u201cposting\u201d, \u201conline influencer\u201d, \u201cbinge-watching\u201d, \u201cInstagrammable\u201d and \u201c#nofilter\u201d. Add to this the seismic political shifts of the 2010s, and we now live in a world of \u201cpost truth\u201d, \u201cpost fact\u201d and \u201cfake news\u201d.<\/p>\n

As we enter the 2020s, the pace of change is further quickening. Barreling towards us are challenging questions of identity, ethics and societal and personal responsibility brought about by artificial intelligence (facial recognition, deep fakes), digital privacy, cloning and genetic engineering (How much should we engineer life? Who gets to decide?) and space exploration. In this context of fundamental, massive and hyper-accelerated change,\u00a0<\/p>\n

as humans,<\/strong> the question of how to live is more urgent than\u00a0ever.<\/strong><\/blockquote>\n
<\/figure>\n
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Deanna, her sister and her\u00a0mother<\/figcaption>\n<\/figure>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

As a witness to the varied ups and downs in the lives of family, friends and acquaintances, I find myself saying things that begin with, \u201cMy mother would say\u2026\u201d. I was incredibly blessed with a mother of seemingly limitless empathy for the emotional struggles of others. A psychiatric nurse for over 30 years (and a dedicated Dr. Phil<\/em> and Oprah Winfrey Show<\/em> viewer), she has seen how human lives can derail from the inside out. Her many catchphrases gird me up when the chips are down and guide the way forward when the path is obscured. As we start a new decade of challenges, I share with you time-tested, personally-validated mother\u2019s wisdom.<\/p>\n

You are\u00a0enough.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

This is the foundation. You must actively choose to love yourself. God made you and you are precious and worthy of love.\u00a0<\/p>\n

No one can give you the love that you must give to yourself.\u00a0<\/strong><\/blockquote>\n

Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Forgive yourself. While it is invaluable to learn from the example of others, avoid comparing yourself. <\/strong>It is a losing game, for you will ultimately find someone you perceive as more beautiful, more successful or with a seemingly better life. Comparing yourself to others will likely make you feel superior or inferior, neither of which will help you forge healthy relationships with others, or yourself.<\/p>\n

99% of the time, it is not about\u00a0you.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Sometimes people disappoint us. They let us down by not responding, not including us, cancelling or not reciprocating. The actions of others do not lessen your self-worth.<\/strong> In fact, those actions probably have nothing to do with you. Busy and consumed by our own worries, stresses and schedules, we all sometimes disappoint others. 99% of the time, it\u2019s not about you. And, even if it is about you, it\u2019s okay. To paraphrase, you can be the juiciest peach in the world, but not everyone likes peaches. Do not give others the power to make you question your self-worth.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Conserve your emotional energy.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

In our current environment where it is the loudest voice and the most outrageous comment that \u201cgoes viral\u201d, our nerves and emotions are primed for over-reaction. But, we only have so much emotional energy. Don\u2019t waste it on things that don\u2019t matter in the big view. Just let some things go. Save your emotional energy for those who matter and for what matters.<\/strong> You will need it.<\/p>\n

Be kind (for everyone you meet is engaged in his\/her own struggle).<\/strong><\/h4>\n

As my mother says, \u201cNo one gets a free pass.\u201d No matter how perfect someone else\u2019s life may seem, every single person has his\/her own struggles. <\/strong>Life is hard. As humans, we are social beings and kindness\u200a\u2014\u200athe giving and receiving of it\u200a\u2014\u200ais fundamental to our sense of personal well-being and safety. When we show kindness, our souls are fed. When we receive kindness, our hearts rejoice. Be kind to one another. Err on the side of generosity.<\/strong> I promise that you will be happier for it.<\/p>\n

Before you point the finger, look at yourself\u00a0first.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Humans are masters of hypocrisy. Often, the thing that we most detest about others\u200a\u2014\u200athat most gets under our skin\u200a\u2014\u200ais the very thing that we fear lies within ourselves. Self-honesty is fundamental to self-understanding and self-acceptance, which is essential to making a life that fulfills our fundamental needs. Before you blame and think about how everything would be better if only the other person changed, think first about what you can change. After all, we cannot change others<\/strong>. We can only change ourselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n

These are not lessons learnt once. Rather, as you find self-doubt creep in or emotions beginning to flare, these catchphrases can help to slow down, take a breath, and perhaps react in new, more constructive ways that soon becomes habit. Common in our humanity, we are each a unique work in progress.<\/p>\n

Happy New Decade!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n

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<\/div>\n
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This is a story of the Futurist\u00a0Club<\/h3>\n

by Science of the\u00a0Time<\/a><\/h4>\n
Written by: Deanna\u00a0Elstrom<\/a><\/blockquote>\n
\n
Deanna Elstrom<\/a><\/figcaption>\n<\/figure>\n

Passionate about culture and how it impacts one\u2019s worldview, motivations and behaviors, I have studied and worked in the U.S., France and Japan.<\/p>\n

After a long career as a beauty marketer (L\u2019Or\u00e9al, Avon, Revlon, L\u2019Occitane) and a brand insights strategist (CBX NY), I moved to Japan in 2013 and morphed into a brand insights researcher.<\/p>\n

At Ipsos in Japan, I help multinational brands to better connect with Japanese consumers by interpreting consumer data through the lens of cultural context to understand what consumers mean, not just say. With this understanding, brands develop positionings and communications that are resonant and create impact.<\/p>\n

As head of the Public Affairs team at Ipsos in Japan, I try to explain the quantitative numbers behind Japanese behaviors and attitudes through the lens of culture and context. At Esomar Asia 2019, I presented a paper about the ambivalence towards issues of gender inequality in Japan.<\/p>\n

Currently, I am particularly interested in issues around Japan\u2019s mental health treatment, the impact of being the world\u2019s fastest-aging society and how to move towards more sustainable consumption<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":2327,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41],"tags":[511,512,513],"yoast_head":"\nA Mother\u2019s\u00a0Wisdom: 5 Life Lessons for a New\u00a0Decade - Downloadable Content (DLC)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/scienceofthetime.com\/dlc\/2020\/01\/14\/a-mothers-wisdom-5-life-lessons-for-a-new-decade\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Mother\u2019s\u00a0Wisdom: 5 Life Lessons for a New\u00a0Decade\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/scienceofthetime.com\/dlc\/2020\/01\/14\/a-mothers-wisdom-5-life-lessons-for-a-new-decade\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Downloadable Content (DLC)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-01-14T03:57:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Amy Bessem\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Amy Bessem\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/scienceofthetime.com\/dlc\/2020\/01\/14\/a-mothers-wisdom-5-life-lessons-for-a-new-decade\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/scienceofthetime.com\/dlc\/2020\/01\/14\/a-mothers-wisdom-5-life-lessons-for-a-new-decade\/\",\"name\":\"A Mother\u2019s\u00a0Wisdom: 5 Life Lessons for a New\u00a0Decade - 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